Professor Zenbo and the theory of M

The Piccadilly Online Broadcaster sent staff reporter Jaybie to interview blog host Professor Zenbo. Here, the first of a three-part series on the maverick professor:

Jaybie: Professor Zenbo, tell us something about yourself, your life, work, interests, aims, fears...

Professor Zenbo: I'm a 40-something professor in the Life Academy, Faculty of Philosophical Imagination, researching into a variety of sundry issues - from ancient Greek to the effects of corporate tyranny on the female reproductive cycle. My driving aim is to find meaning in the web of apparently meaningless events that make up my, and most other people's lives.

Jay: Have you had any success in that?

Prof Z: 'Success' is an interesting word to use in this context.

Jay: Well, have you had any?

Prof Z: I haven't had any of that for a little while.. what with Mr. Zenbo's illness, followed by mine ... :) however, to let me continue, your phrasing of the question, in terms of 'success' indicates that you, too, have succumbed to the modern mindset that measures every human endeavour in terms of some outwardly visible, socially recognisable sign of success. When, in fact, the real effect of a particular activity may be an inner shift in the researcher's own reality which many manifest outwardly only at a later stage - or may not, as the case may be...
So in terms, of the effects of my research -

Jay: Have you been able to find any meaning in all this meaninglessness?

Prof Z: It depends what you mean by the word 'meaning' ...To continue what I was -

Jay: What do you mean by 'meaning'? What does meaning mean to you?

Prof Z: 'Meaning' means several things to me. Firstly, if we look at it from the etymological perspective -

Jay: Please can we skip the history and keep it simple. This is a blog broadcast, not the Times Educational Supplement...

Prof Z: Well, for a start, 'meaning' begins with an 'M'. First associations that spring to mind (hem... that coincidentally also begins with an 'm' ...) are ME, MINE, MAMA and, of course, a big yellow 'M' on a red background. Etymologcally -

Jay: You mean - YOU eat at McDonald's?!

Prof Z: Yes, of course, now that's a particularly interesting area of research - as we all know from that man who was filmed stuffing himself with hamburgers and chips for 30 days.. What interests me there - apart from a large bag of chips smothered in ketchup or (in Holland) in mayonnaise (note: one red, the other yellow) is, as I've just hinted, the use of the primal colours red and yellow to hook consumers before they've even learned to get their grubby little fingers round a big fat bag of chips -

Jay: I'm afraid our broadcast time is up, Professor Zenbo, thank you for joining us -

Prof Z: Er - let me quickly just add, on the subject of 'meaning' -

Jay: Our conversation with Professor Zenbo will continue next week with a look at quantum physics and Red Indians.